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Archives for August 2016

Have a Bad Attitude? What To Do.

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What To Do
When You Have A Bad Attitude

bad-attitudeMost of us experience a few dog days (or minutes) when we have a bad attitude and just don’t feel like doing anything. Here are practical tips we’ve tried for dealing with that lousy situation. Try a few yourself to see what works best for you.

To Do ASAP    top

Here are some things you can do in the next minute to start shifting your feelings.

  • Stop – Smile – Be Here Now: It turns out that our body affects our mind so this exercise is a quick a quick way to shift your feelings.
  • Look – Listen – Like: Noticing something we like also helps. It can immediately follow the Stop – Smile exercise. If you can, try listing three things you like about what you have just experienced; it’s actually not that hard.
  • 1-Minute/3-Breath Meditation: Practicing this increases your ability to let your mind release everything within one minute. For three breaths first count to 4 while inhaling and then do a long exhale (7 count) while saying “peace.”  Meanwhile let distracting thoughts just float by like when doing regular meditation.
  • Combat Breathing: Similar to 3-breath meditation. The military uses this to reduce the effects of stress, such as shaking or a high pulse rate, when in combat. Breathe in through nose while slowly counting 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold your breath for a slow 4 count. Breath out through the mouth for a slow 4 count. Hold breath for a slow 4 count. Repeat for 3 to 5 breaths. Visualizing each number while you count helps some people.
  • Be Here Now:  Learn to break off from the past and future and focus only on the present.  Look To This Day is my favorite poem on the subject.  Top athletes are able to do this after, say, striking out in baseball (Babe Ruth had many more strike outs than home runs) or missing the first free throw in basketball.  By focusing on the now you can make your past & future problems irrelevant.  Meditating is one of the best ways to practice this important skill.

Do Next    top

The next level is to do something worthwhile, no matter how small. Actually the smaller the better because the object is to build positive momentum.

What you don’t want to do is to allow yourself to get distracted by unproductive pursuits such as TV, eating, or looking at the Internet. You are in a vulnerable position but such pursuits will end up making you feel even worse. Giving in even the slightest will likely suck you in so don’t even think about it.

Here are some small, worthwhile things you can do even when your mind is blown:

  • Order: Clean up or organize something which you will need to do sometime anyway. Only do the easy parts. This is good to do when you can’t think straight. At least you are doing something useful in preparation for when you feel better.
  • Physical Exercise: If you can’t produce then use the time to get some exercise. Swim, walk your dog, ride your bike. Break into a small sweat.
  • Baby Step: If you must actually “work” then figure out what the smallest possible step you can take. One good way is to get a sheet of paper (the first very small step) then write on it a couple of small things you can do. If these still boggle you then write under them even smaller steps (e.g., pick up a pencil). Eventually you will get to something small enough so that you are able to do it. You’ll also likely to have a couple of other small items you can do as well. Once done repeat.
  • Bigger Step: When exercising or otherwise relaxing put into your mind the next step or goal you are going to accomplish immediately when going back to work. Make it clear and concrete. Then write it down on a clean sheet of paper, add any obvious steps, and to it immediately.

Do Longer Term    top

  • Meditate: Learn to meditate. This will increase your ability to clear your mind and to increase your capacity to resist distracting urges.
  • SEO: Do the simple, easy and obvious: To quote Thomas Carlyle, “The main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance but to do what lies clearly at hand.”  Don’t let yourself get confused by vague future things which you don’t clearly comprehend. Instead work on the few simple, easy and obvious things which are right in front of you if you just look.
  • GIGO: Garbage in, garbage out. Fill your head with good stuff.  Be careful about the negative thoughts you allow in your mind; they literally poison your attitude. Here are some good quotes on the subject.
  • Health: Build your energy by improving your exercise/eat/sleep habits. Taking proper care of yourself is one of the best ways to get productive long term results. Another way to build energy it to start observing then breaking the habits you use to to distract yourself from your feelings. Coming home and flopping down in front of the TV with a beer is a good example of a bad habit.
  • Environment: It turns out that environment affects all of us far more than we think it does. This is especially true of our people environment, the people we hang around. Therefore, do everything you can to put productive models in front of yourself. Set up situations where you are more likely to be productive.

Related Links    top

Best “Thought Management” Quotations

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Best “Thought Management” Quotations

Our thoughts, consciously repeated & refined, can
* influence our feelings, conscious & unconscious, and
* sculpt our mental images, what we believe and want.
Those feelings push us and images pull us towards our destiny.

This summarizes the power of consciously managed thoughts and how they can take us to our desired destination. Below are some famous quotations which support this conclusion.

Control    top

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones,
you’ll start having positive results.” – Willie Nelson.

“You start taking control of your results when you start taking care of your thoughts.” – Daren Handy

“Rule your mind or it will rule you.” – Horace, Roman Poet, 65 BC-8 BC
A warning from history about what happens if we just drift through life.

“What worries you, masters you.” – John Locke, English Philospher, 1632-1704

Dwell    top

“Seeing yourself as you want to be
is the key to personal growth.” – Anonymous
You must start thinking about the details of what you like and want if you ever hope to move towards them. Otherwise you’ll just drift through life.

“The secret of successful living is to build up the mental equivalent that you want; and to get rid of, to expunge, the mental equivalent that you do not want. p.7
You build in the mental equivalents by thinking quietly, constantly, and persistently of the kind of thing you want, and by thinking that has two qualities: clearness or definiteness, and interest. p.8″ – Emmet Fox, The Mental Equivalent, p.7-8.
To create anything in your life think about it a great deal with clarity and warmth of feeling.

“Do not strain to get your ideas clear. If you have a pair of field glasses and you look at something and want the focus clearer, you slowly turn the wheel until the focus is clear. Getting your mental equivalent may take you a week or a year. Charge it with interest, like an electric charge, or it is dead.” – Emmet Fox, The Mental Equivalent, p.18.

“Spend more time each day thinking about what you want rather than what you do not want.” – John R Price in The Abundance Book, p.60
A basic and practical suggestion.

“You always demonstrate what you habitually have in your mind. …
So examine your conditions and see what you are demonstrating.” – Emmet Fox, The Mental Equivalent, p.21.
Try out your ideas scientifically and judge only by the results.

“Very little is needed to make a happy life.
It’s all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” – Marcus Aurelius, Stoic philosopher & Roman Emperor, 121-180 AD.

Success    top

“What you think about comes about.” – Mark Hansen
This is the theme of thought-management.com. I.e., what you repeatedly think about, with clarity & feeling, comes about.

“As within, so without.“ – Hermes Trismegistus, purported author of ancient Egyptian-Greek occult wisdom texts.
You experience in the outer what you really think in the inner. Whatever happens on any level of reality (physical, emotional, or mental) also happens on every other level.

“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe,
it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill.
The theme of Napoleon Hill’s famous book Think and Grow Rich: The Classic Edition.

Any Definite Chief Aim that is deliberately fixed in mind and held there, with the firm determination to realize it, finally saturates the entire subconscious mind until it automatically influences the physical action of the body toward the attainment of that purpose.  Napoleon Hill, p.155, Law of Success The 21st-Century Edition.

Ultimate Source    top

“As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.” – James Allen
James Allen tells us to “keep your hand firmly upon the helm of thought.”  As A Man Thinketh by James Allen is a good, short, practical, free booklet on how to manage your thoughts.

“We do not attract what we want.
We attract what we feel.“ – Ralph Smart
Thoughts lead to feelings lead to actions … then back & forth repeatedly in a feedback loop. If we strive to have clear thoughts with deep feelings this automatically leads to right actions.

AIDA – attention, interest, desire, action. This is the sequence advertisers use to get the results they want from buyers.

“This day … I view the world of effect as it truly is …
simply an outpicturing of my former beliefs.” – John R Price in The Abundance Book, p.28
Price asserts on p.20 that naturally pouring forth from our inner being is creative Mind energy whose “plastic quality allows it to be impressed by the tone and shape of your dominant beliefs.” That creative energy (expressed through thoughts, feelings, choices, words & actions) flows through our consciousness to eventually appear as the outward objects & conditions we perceive.

Another way to word the first idea:
This day I recognize the world of effect for what it truly is … simply the natural denouement of my previous thoughts, feelings, choices, words & actions. Each one, no matter how small, ends up on the balance scales of life.

“All we are is the result of what we have thought:
it is founded on our thoughts and made up of our thoughts.“ – Buddha

Related Links:    top

To Be Happy – Fill Your Head with Good Stuff

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To Be Happy
Fill Your Head with Good Stuff

phillipines4-8-400
Thoughts which the Bible says should fill your head (from Philippians 4:8)

If you want to be happy then steadily, continuously keep filling your head with what’s good in your life. Fill it to overflowing.

index:  gigo | aim | smile | be here | gratitude | other | links

This steady effort is needed because our minds evolved to promote survival, not happiness.  It saves the happy chemicals for brief spurts which are quickly metabolized.  Therefore we need to keep taking steps that stimulate our happy chemicals.

So, be aware, be real but don’t dwell on negatives. This skill is something you can work on any time any place even when feeling poorly. Just do the best you can, no matter how small the improvement, and this purposeful mind control practice will eventually wash away the mental poisons that make you unhappy. It’s a bit like taking care of yourself when you are really sick.

Below are some of the best ideas we’ve found for filling your head with good stuff. Every person is different, so pick & choose test & modify these ideas to find which particular ones work best for you.

GIGO (Good In, Good Out)    top

“Good In, Good Out” is a nice twist on “Garbage In, Garbage Out.”  Science has shown in many, many studies that we are dramatically affected by our environment, far more than we believe.

Fill your mind with good thoughts if you want a good happy life.  Fill your environment with people and things that will uplift you.  Especially note  I Corinthians 15:31:  “Don’t let anyone deceive you.  Associating with bad people will ruin decent people.”

AIM (Attention, Interpretation, Memory)    top

In their book Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth top scientists in the field Ed Diener & Robert Biswas-Diener describe how to AIM for happiness. Here’s what they say.

Attention. “Stuff will never get into your head if you don’t look at it.” For example, don’t fill your head with bad news which has been spun to attract you for the ultimate purpose of making the media money. Negative people are another source of bad vibes. Instead keep your mind open to the good things you can be looking at instead which can make you happy.  Remember, GIGO … garbage in garbage out.

Personally, I actively avoid reading the deluge of negative news which tends to overwhelm the mind by its very volume. Science has shown we are all affected by our environment more than we assume. With a little thinking about the news, medicine commercials and other such junk it is not that hard to recognize its poisonous nature. Once that’s realized then completely avoiding such inputs is not that difficult to do.

Interpretation. The way we interpret facts determines whether we feel happy or not. Looking at a glass as half full rather than half empty is the classic example. Another one is realizing that losing a lousy job or relationship can sometimes be the best thing that ever happened.

Controlling interpretations is often just a matter of trying to find a good interpretation rather than allowing one’s self to blindly getting stuck with an initial reaction. If I just stop and try to come up with another interpretation it is often much easier than expected. Try it.

Memory. Relive and savor the positive moments. This is something you can control much more easily than controlling the future. Stop and mentally smell the roses in life, past as well as present. This is another good way to fill your head.

Stop Smile Be … Look Listen Like    top

This is an excellent, very practical exercise for immediately improving your immediate attitude. It’s an “upper” that often works for me.

Basically you Stop what you are doing, break into a big Smile (see Just Smile – the #1 Tip to Feel Better), then look around and start mentally noting what you like in your immediate present. See more details here. It’s a refreshing break, a bit similar to stopping and smelling the roses, which you can take any time.

Be Here Now    top

This particular moment is the only one that truly exists. “Yesterday is but a memory and tomorrow is only a vision” as my favorite poem says.

Learning how to be here now is a highly valuable skill to help you let go of sad memories or future fears. Meditation is one of the best ways to learn how concentrate mindfully on a desireable subject.

Joyful Gratitude    top

Another highly recommended practice is joyful gratitude. By learning how to first see and then focus on what is good about life you learn to fill your mind with gratitude rather than bitterness.

In my experience the best way feel joyful gratitude is to just keep trying until it starts happening. The Stop Smile Be Look Like exercise mentioned above is one that helps me; it’s fairly easy to spot something I “like.”  Another exercise is to think of three things you are grateful for right before going asleep. The idea is to make feeling joyful gratitude a habit that will eventually start coming naturally.

Other Related Thoughts    top

  • “What You Think About Comes About” – The overall subject of this website which you are now reading!
  • “First Within Then Without” – A classic mantra implying that what you think, feel and create within eventually appears without.
  • The Slight Edge principle of making the slightest move towards one’s goal is very useful for filling your mind with good stuff when you are down. I.e., keep working on making even the slightest progress … it eventually accumulates.
  • “Act enthusiastic to be enthusiastic.” Science has proven that physical actions cause feelings as well as the reverse.  It’s a feedback loop.
  • Get a happy pet. Many studies have shown that pets can help people live longer and become happier. We agree; the companionship and joie de vivre of happy pets adds much to our happiness. Our two dogs know how to enjoy the good life. Just watching them can teach a lot about being here now and about joyful gratitude.

Hopefully some of the ideas discussed above give you a start at filling your head with good stuff … and, at making you happier.

Related Links:    top

  • The book The Astonishing Power of Emotions: Let Your Feelings Be Your Guide by Esther & Jerry Hicks recommends that one of the best things to do to improve your life is to closely watch your feelings and then to do whatever it takes that very moment to make yourself feel a little bit better than you would have otherwise. We agree.
  • How To Find Happiness: 6 Proven Secrets From Research – Good article on how to use AIM (acronym for Attention, Interpretation & Memory) to increase happiness.
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