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Best Ideas from “The One Thing“

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The One Thing
best thoughts from this best seller

The ONE Thing by Keller & Papasan is about prioritization and focus. Spreading yourself too thin is like chasing two rabbits at once … you won’t catch either one.

where start | focusing question | just do it | domino effect | link back | manage will power | links

The First Thing To Focus On top

  • How do you know what the first thing to focus on should be? p.21
  • In the beginning The One Thing is usually not apparent. p.24
  • Starting and continually thinking a certain way repeatedly over time, results in the creation of a habit, and the Focusing Question is the strongest habit you can have to achieve extraordinary results.
  • So, a good thing to focus on first is to “Make asking the Focusing Question a habit.” Start believing in it and ask it constantly every day. p.24

The Focusing Question top

The Focusing Question consists of three parts:

  1. What’s the one thing I can do (right now, today, this week)
  2. which will make
  3. everything else easier or unnecessary.
    I.e., what is the 1st domino after which the next domino will fall.

Start constantly applying the Focusing Question to key areas of your life, your ultimate Vision and to your next action step, i.e., “what’s next?”.

Just Do It, now top

Don’t be a perfectionist.  Don’t Wait … Just get started right here & now with whatever you have … Just Do It.

Don’t delay in hopes of a perfect plan. Over planning kills the magic and just doesn’t work.  Definitely prepare by planning, but expect unexpected changes and be ready to adapt.

General George Patton said “A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan next week.”   The discipline of planning is indispensable but “no plan survives contact with the enemy.”  So, make good plans to prepare yourself (per the 7Ps) and to help clarify the priorities, assumptions, options and priorities. But, realize that plans will have to be changed since there is no way to perfectly forecast and control the future.

Headlight Analogy
This is a good analogy to help you avoid over planning.  At night headlights show only the next thing to be done.  When planning ahead in life the main two  things to consider are (1) am I headed in the right direction and (2) what’s next.   Keep aware of what road you are on, but don’t waste attention worrying about the twists and turns ahead which you really can’t see yet.   As Thomas Carlyle said “The main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance but to do what lies clearly at hand.”

So get started now even though your plans are not perfect.  Focus on the next step right here & now … and as you get closer to the next twist & turn and the next goal they will get clearer.

The Domino Effect top

Study and learn which domino (i.e., action step) to start with and then line up the rest of the dominos in proper order. “This calls for prioritizing, finding that lead domino, and whacking away at it until it falls. This defines the process of extraordinary success: It is sequential, and not simultaneous.” p.3

Understanding this domino effect helps you decide the first thing to immediately and fully focus on (what’s next) … and then to move to the next step and the next … which eventually leads over time to the biggest most important thing (long term vision). p.3

Link Back top

What we accomplish presently defines what we will accomplish next. p.32  However, because of human nature the further away a potential reward is in the future the smaller the immediate motivation to achieve it.  Therefore, mentally link back to your ultimate vision to connect with its motivation.   I.e., mentally step back through the sequence from the one thing you are going to do next to the the ultimate vision goal and the motivation it will provide.

Another good idea is to write down goals.  Why? Because it works. Writing your goals down is an immediate step which will help you to get to where you want to go.

Manage Limited Will Power top

Here are some tips for managing our very limited will power:

  • Block out morning time: We have the most will power in the morning so schedule first things first, in the morning.
  • In practice, set aside 15 minutes to deal with regular morning activities, and then proceed to work on your One Thing.  Block in a minimum of 4 hours per day if you can.
  • To help motivate yourself keep a scoreboard that tracks your hours of deep work in a prominent place.  E.g., 2 hours blocked in every morning.
  • Recreate : Without recreation, which takes time, you will burn out and run out of will power and creativity. Schedule in plenty of time for recreation and taking care of your body. This is a top priority.
  • Good habits: A few right habits can free us from monitoring just about everything else.  The world champion swimmer Michael Phelps, for example, cultivated just one discipline — to swim every day for six hours.  So, identify a key point of discipline and develop a habit.
  • Distraction. During work hours earn to say no to everything not related to your One Thing. Distraction is the destroyer of deep work. Create environments that cut distraction during your key blocks of time to a minimum.

A Little More top

  • Expect a mess in your work life bucket: If you do the most important things in your business you can expect that there will be many less important things that are messy.
  • Balance your personal life bucket: Try to balance your personal activities such as exercise time and socializing.
  • “We will know our purpose when we ask the ‘Big Why.’ It’s why you are excited with your life.” Having a great Purpose is the single best route to perseverance and conviction. p.30
  • Purpose doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s the ONE thing you want your life to be about more than anything else. p.31

Related Links top

Best Thoughts From: Your Mind Your Best Friend

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Best Thoughts from
Your Mind, Your Best Friend
by Shuddhaaandaa Brahmachari

Developing a true friendship with your mind is the best way to move closer to the divine potential within. Treat your mind as you would your very best friend. Nurture your mind, coach it, take care of it and your mind will do the same for you.

mind | friend | watch | positive | control | compassion | acceptance | attachment | god

Watch your thoughts closely. Start observing & analyzing where they may lead so that you can compassionately guide your mind to higher more positive ground. Take control of the helm of your mind and do not allow it to droop into depression. A positive mind will help you uplift yourself.

Be compassionate with your friend rather than fault finding. It grows with your nurturing attention. Thoughts witnessed without judgment naturally dissolve as you become more conscious and understanding.

Accept , without judgment, all that life brings you as a gift of God. Learn to let go of worldly (impermanent, unimportant, self oriented) attachment and expectations. They naturally lead to unhealthy swings between extreme highs and lows. Instead, release all outcomes to God and just begin. Observe how you receive the guidance and inspiration you need to respond to each moment as it unfolds.

A MIND    top

After all, a friend is nothing but a mind. Who are we going to trust if we cannot trust our own mind? loc.136

Your mind is the thing with which you are working either to lower yourself or to uplift yourself. loc.217.

The most sublime gifts (of God) are your body and your mind. loc.870

What a great gift it is to have a human mind … which can commune with Nature in totality, provided we keep the instrument properly tuned. loc.972

The self you think yourself to be is limited …that is governed by the past. It is the ego. You are a prisoner of the past and the destiny that proceeds from it. loc.942

The only way to transcend the ego is to become conscious, to continually surrender your limited awareness into an ever expanding awareness of the Universal Oneness, to rely ever more deeply on Divine grace. loc.950

A FRIEND    top

The more committed you are to the one true friend of your befriending mind, the more your mind becomes brilliant. loc.128

The only real solution is to befriend yourself. Make friendship with yourself first. loc.144. Then seek friends outside. When you find your mind has become your true friend , you will be surrounded with friends. loc.145

So the most important task in life, the greatest achievement, is to seek the true friend. Our best friend is our positive mind. loc.550

WATCH    top

We are keen to know what our mind is saying, where it is leading us. Then, we do not allow our mind to become depressed, to get mired in untruth and spin out of control. … Whenever you notice yourself falling into self criticism, catch yourself. Befriend yourself. loc.255

I may not know what is in the mind of God, but I can become conscious and aware of what is in my mind. I can watch my own mind, rather than letting it play itself out unconsciously. loc.276

The lamp is the flame of our aspiration. It is our yearning, our love for truth, our love for all that is good and beautiful, our love for God, … That is the light of awareness that we need to keep aflame in our hearts. loc.284

Then spend 10 minutes in the evening writing about what uplifted your life and spirit throughout the day. Make it a practice to gather the gifts of the day … to thank God for them each night before going to bed. loc.293

We begin by keenly watching our mind. … We become alert to the ways and directions in which the mind pulls us. We intervene. We adjust. We compassionately guide the course of the mind to higher ground whenever it begins to slip toward negativity. Take a few moments several times each day to keenly observe your thoughts. loc.355

Practice becoming watchful and alert so you can come to understand when your mind is going in the wrong direction. At that point, catch yourself. You can say, “No, my child, this is not the right way. You are my best friend. How could you talk like this?” loc.632

Negative mechanism and habits of mind will no longer be able to grip you. They will not be able to steer you off course because you have taken the helm of your own mind. loc.641 end of day 14

Cultivate greater awareness of how you use language. What does it reveal about who you are being in this moment? What does it contribute to others? loc.675

Practice responding to the faintest stirrings of your own heart. Practice noticing them. loc.919

Practice being more aware. Practice being more accepting. Practice becoming more conscious. loc.981

Thus, constant self-analysis … about where your ego is dominating, where you are drawn to impermanence, where you seek happiness outside of your own being, where you are drawn unconsciously – is invaluable. loc. 1082

At night let go of the mind. Allow it to float in a way that you observe it, without judgment, to see where it is ultimately going. You can discover what types of thoughts, what kinds of preoccupations, your mind is gravitating toward. That is the pull of your nature. loc.1107

If we keep watching our mind, we eventually become mindful that it is the mind observing the mind, without any judgment. After you gain some skill in this, gradually, begin to follow your thoughts. loc.1154

The consciousness of our thoughts gradually brings to us a calmer mind. Anything you observe keenly calms down. After you observe for some time, it becomes quiet. Anything you do unconsciously persists as long as you are unconscious. The moment you observe it and become conscious about it, it stops. Try this … without judging. loc.1162

POSITIVE    top

A truly spiritual mind is always positive. A truly spiritual mind is a controlled mind. One of the ways by which you can control your mind is to lift your mind with your own mind. loc.217

Gradually, we learn: never, ever allow the mind to droop. We need always to be awake. … observing how the mind plays. loc.247

If you leave your mind to its own upward and downward cycles, however, the downward cycles gradually dominate. Gravity overtakes you. loc.692

You are on a journey home to your true Self, to who you are in God. The vehicle of your mind naturally veers off course from time to time. loc.255

No situation can make you unhappy unless you agree to become unhappy, unless you sign the contract to be unhappy. loc.354

Positive thoughts, courage and confidence, and continuous affirmations that make your path to God and God-Realization easier, are your best friends. You need to keep company with them always. loc.616

CONTROL    top

Your only enemy resides in you … That enemy is your uncontrolled state of mind. loc.318

As you recognize a mistake, decide to change, and open your heart to God’s grace. Things begin changing naturally. They happen subtly. There is no need to force yourself if change is not immediately apparent. loc.343

Notice what you say to yourself inwardly about such things. Counter every false statement with a true one. loc.472

Brush away the negative emotions, the negative patterns and rut. Imagine them as trivial, small insects crawling on your shoulder. That is what they are. loc.1190

God asks only two things from us: trust and patience & perseverance. loc.1209

COMPASSION    top

The less judgmental you are to your mind, … the better your mind will perform, the more cooperative and harmonious it will be. loc.1112

Confronting your own limitations with compassion, you become more appreciative of the problems and weaknesses of others. loc.716

Watch your thoughts in a very compassionate meditation. You are separate from the thoughts. … If you witness without judgment the thought comes and it dissolves. loc.1145

Be more loving of yourself rather than condemning and finding fault. The moment you begin to glimpse the positive within you, it grows. It grows with your nurturing attention. loc.1182

Compassionately and relentlessly recognize the areas of darkness in your life. They are leading you to some awakening. They are invaluable teachers which enlarge your compassion and understanding. loc.1227

Find a new way to contribute to another human being each day, to practice generosity of mind and heart. loc.1260

ACCEPTANCE    top

“What deeper good might God be working toward here? How can I open my mind and heart and spirit to give consent to the Divine’s purposes, however hidden … There is no need to come up with “answers” per se. Rather, hold the questions prayerfully in your heart, resolving to remain open and accepting …” loc.241

Witness the inevitabilities of life as they come and go. Don’t grumble over them. You allow your Divine potential to take care of you. Thus you have your best friend along with you everywhere you go in the world. loc.391

This problem is not my enemy. It is an occasion for grace, a friend of my soul that offers me the chance to draw closer than ever to God. loc.480

The three As of your spiritual practice: Arise into your spiritual inheritance, awake to your own mind and lift it into the light of higher truth, accept all that life brings you as the gift of God. loc.692

As your spirit grows in understanding, you no longer fight against what comes to you. You learn to trust, to accept where life is leading you. loc.716

Appreciate and bless every aspect of your life, even the “negatives” of the past, as stepping stones toward befriending your own mind. loc.1285

ATTACHMENT    top

If you are attached to something, you are inevitably going to receive a blow in relation to it. Attraction and repulsion … continuously pull us back and forth. We all swing between the two extremes. loc.504 When the mind is allowed to play of its own accord between these fields, we are not really conscious. Without proper training to control the mind, anything that happens can rob the mind of its higher properties, the stable state of equanimity. If we allow the intensifying energies of the mind in attachment and the lower, debasing energies of the mind to play freely, havoc rules. loc.512

We begin to practice letting go. The instant we realize we are in attachment to a certain outcome, we let go of our demand that life fit our limited expectations. We let go of our demand for a certain outcome. loc.571

Release all outcomes to God and begin. Observe how you receive the guidance and inspiration you need to respond to each moment as it unfolds. loc.612

GOD    top

God is here and now … nowhere else. loc.183 You and reality are One. You are indivisible from all that is. loc.200 We are blessed by each instant, by each experience of our lives … loc.200

The ultimate state of human mind occurs when the mind becomes single-pointed and flows uninterruptedly toward its own origin in spirit, toward its intrinsic Divine potential. loc.225

A true seeker’s mind is dwelling on the plane of that positive, one-pointed thought of the Divine potential that is within, .. Then continuously, acceptance happens. It happens spontaneously. loc. 391
That is what we all are seeking in life. It is the one thing we need to achieve. It is important that we always return to a positive frame of mind. loc. 400

The Divine is within. It is forever singing through the world around us. Our task is to awaken to it until we see it everywhere, until we hear and feel it in every moment. loc.624

We are born to awaken from the slumber of our unconsciousness … which is the root cause of all unhappiness. Grace is eternally available to all of us. No small effort toward awakening goes in vain. loc.1014

The Divine is ultimately the source of all thoughts, the source of all actions, the source of all energies, the source of consciousness. loc.1060

Related Links    top

Thought Management Reading List

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Interesting Things To Read
About Thought Management

Here are some links to browse when you are looking for some interesting things to read about thought management:

Also Rans top

Related Links top

Open Mind Open Heart Book Review

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Open Mind Open Heart Book Review

Open Mind, Open Heart is a book about a spiritually-oriented type of meditation called Centering Prayer. Here are some descriptions the book provides:

  • “Centering Prayer as a discipline is designed to withdraw our attention from the ordinary flow of our thoughts.” (p.34).
  • “It concentrates the essence of monastic practice into two periods of prayer each day.” (p.34)
  • It is a “specific method of preparing for the gift of contemplation” (p.4), i.e., the gift of directly experiencing or “resting in God” (p.20) which “is beyond thinking, images, and emotions.” (p.114)
  • “… it centers one’s attention on God’s presence within” (p.109)

This book was written by Thomas Keating, a retired Cistercian priest, monk, and abbot, who is a founder of the Centering Prayer Movement. He’s obviously a good writer who is intellectually talented and well qualified on the subject. After you skim the first three chapters of background materials, the book focuses on answering a long list of questions Keating has received during seminars about exactly how to do Centering Prayer and what to expect from it.

Based on my own limited Centering Prayer experience of less than a year, Open Mind, Open Heart is a good thorough explanation of Centering Prayer.  However,  for rank beginners I would suggest starting by watching an brief YouTube video by Thomas Keating. In this video Keating says only your intent to be open to the personal experience of God is important; don’t worry about the “how to” details. Just keep practicing Centering Prayer as he very simply describes it in this video and you will progress. After some actual practice Open Mind, Open Heart is a good next step to help answer some of the questions your intellectual mind may have about this experiential practice.

For those who already have a little Centering Prayer experience, Keating is exceptionally good at getting into the “how to” specifics of this simple but mystical subject (which is ultimately indescribable, i.e., directly experiencing God). He doesn’t skip by the hard parts and clearly admits such facts as “Christian life and growth are founded on faith …” (p.13).

Keating also talks in detail about some changes to look for. For example:

  •  “The only way to judge this prayer is by its long range fruits: whether in daily life you enjoy greater peace, humility and charity.” (p.114)   I.e.,  Don’t look for specific results while doing Centering Prayer itself.  Different people will have different experiences while practicing Centering Prayer ( from each other and, indeed, from themselves over time).
  • Look for how “you begin to relate to others beyond the superficial aspects” (p.114) and how you begin to have “greater compassion.” (p.97).

Other comments Keating makes about potential benefits include:

  • “Emotionally charged thoughts [that sometimes result from Centering Prayer] are the chief way that the unconscious has of expelling chunks of emotional junk. In this way, without your perceiving it, a great many emotional conflicts that are hidden in your unconscious and affecting your decisions more than you realize are being resolved. As a consequence, over a period of time you will feel a greater sense of well-being and inner freedom.” (p.96)
  • It can also happen that external difficulties may arise in your life that have a direct connection with your spiritual growth.” (p.97)

All in all this book is an excellent aid for practitioners of Centering Prayer to intellectually understand in more depth its purpose and details. However, don’t forget that ultimately the practice and benefits of Centering Prayer are experiential and not something the human mind can actually understand.

Related Sources top

Affirmations from The Four Agreements by Ruiz

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The Four Agreements by Don Ruiz
excellent affirmations to live by

These are practical and simple agreements you make with yourself described in detail in Don Ruiz’s famous book The Four Agreements. And they have indeed, at least intermittently and partially, worked for me. By focusing your attention on four simple agreements Ruiz says you will start conquering the inner negative ‘tapes’ which are now running your life.

Ruiz’s four agreements are as follow:
1.  Be impeccable with your word.
2.  Don’t take anything personally.
3.  Don’t make assumptions.
4.  Always do your best.

1. Be impeccable with your word    top

“Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

Comments:
Since your spoken word is a physical, obvious, somewhat controllable action this is a great place to start controlling your thoughts and feelings. It’s applying William James’ “act as if” principle.

An expansion of the concept is to “be impeccable with your thoughts”. Why? Because what you think about comes about. Your thoughts are often just going to pop out so to be impeccable with them would involve (1) noticing them, then (2) focusing on another thought that is more worthy.

A good way to notice unworthy thoughts is to notice if you are feeling good or bad. If you are feeling bad then the thoughts you are thinking are unworthy. An indication of whether or not the replacing thought you come up with is more worthy is does it make you feel better.

You’ve heard the saying ‘count to 10 before speaking when you are angry.’ When I’ve noticed myself blurting out inappropriate underlying thoughts about a subject I sometimes try to count to 2 before saying anything at all on the subject. It’s a skill I haven’t mastered but sometimes works for me and is worth further practice.

2. Don’t take anything personally    top

“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. ”

Comments:
This is a great agreement to seriously consider when you are upset with others for any reason. I’ve used it successfully several times to reduce anger and embarrassment. The more you think about this agreement, before or after any specific situation, the more it seems to work. Such thoughts tend to help you respond appropriately the next time … rather than just automatically jump with no heed for consequences..

If there is something someone else is doing that is repeatedly getting you irritated or angry this agreement can also work. It tends to defuse your anger and can reduce automatic knee-jerk reactions that get you into trouble or at the least rile you up. E.g., This is good one to practice in the car while watching other drivers be obnoxious or crazy.

A corollary thought is that you are not ultimately responsible for the situation of others. They create their own lives with their own thoughts. Probably the best you can do for them is to be a good example of what is possible. You have no reason to feel guilty for the plights of others just as they have no reason to feel guilty about yours.

When you do do something ‘good’ for others you are really doing it for yourself rather than for them. A possible but poor reason is because it relieves feelings of guilt.  A better reason is because giving opens the flow of abundance to and through you. I.e., God loves a cheerful giver.

3. Don’t make assumptions    top

“Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. ”

Comments:
Note that you are responsible for both sides of a communication … for the sending and for the clear reception thereof.  If the recipient did not understand you then the communication is not complete. Why are you responsible … because if there is miscommunication then you will pay the price for same and might as well not have bothered at all.

This agreement also applies to worrying about the future. Don’t assume and then worry about the worst that can happen. Take reasonable precautions, i.e., do your reasonable best to protect yourself, then forget about the future until another protective step can reasonably be taken. Besides actually making for a happier life in the worst case this approach will save tons of needless worry in many more likely cases.

4. Always do your best    top

“Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret. ”

Comments:
This agreement has worked many times for me. Combining it with the realization that you couldn’t have foreseen the future helps too. If you did your reasonable best given your awareness and physical, mental, emotional limitations at the time then how can you reasonably blame yourself.

I’ve also found that it helps in very tough times such as when caring for a relative who is in serious physical condition. Or, when you are seriously sick yourself. In such situations there often is not a lot you can do about the facts of life but your best. If you do that then there should be no regrets. Think this through and you will see it is true which helps reduce regret and self-abuse.

Related Notes & Terms    top

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