Our thoughts, consciously repeated & refined, can
* influence our feelings, conscious & unconscious, and
* sculpt our mental images, what we believe and want.
Those feelings push us and images pull us towards our destiny.
This summarizes the power of consciously managed thoughts and how they can take us to our desired destination. Below are some famous quotations which support this conclusion.
“Seeing yourself as you want to be is the key to personal growth.” – Anonymous
You must start thinking about the details of what you like and want if you ever hope to move towards them. Otherwise you’ll just drift through life.
“The secret of successful living is to build up the mental equivalent that you want; and to get rid of, to expunge, the mental equivalent that you do not want. p.7
You build in the mental equivalents by thinking quietly, constantly, and persistently of the kind of thing you want, and by thinking that has two qualities: clearness or definiteness, and interest. p.8″ – Emmet Fox, The Mental Equivalent, p.7-8.
To create anything in your life think about it a great deal with clarity and warmth of feeling.
“Do not strain to get your ideas clear. If you have a pair of field glasses and you look at something and want the focus clearer, you slowly turn the wheel until the focus is clear. Getting your mental equivalent may take you a week or a year. Charge it with interest, like an electric charge, or it is dead.” – Emmet Fox, The Mental Equivalent, p.18.
“Spend more time each day thinking about what you want rather than what you do not want.” – John R Price in The Abundance Book, p.60
A basic and practical suggestion.
“You always demonstrate what you habitually have in your mind. …
So examine your conditions and see what you are demonstrating.” – Emmet Fox, The Mental Equivalent, p.21.
Try out your ideas scientifically and judge only by the results.
“Very little is needed to make a happy life.
It’s all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” – Marcus Aurelius, Stoic philosopher & Roman Emperor, 121-180 AD.
“What you think about comes about.” – Mark Hansen
This is the theme of thought-management.com. I.e., what you repeatedly think about, with clarity & feeling, comes about.
“As within, so without.“ – Hermes Trismegistus, purported author of ancient Egyptian-Greek occult wisdom texts.
You experience in the outer what you really think in the inner. Whatever happens on any level of reality (physical, emotional, or mental) also happens on every other level.
“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe,
it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill.
The theme of Napoleon Hill’s famous book Think and Grow Rich: The Classic Edition.
Any Definite Chief Aim that is deliberately fixed in mind and held there, with the firm determination to realize it, finally saturates the entire subconscious mind until it automatically influences the physical action of the body toward the attainment of that purpose. Napoleon Hill, p.155, Law of Success The 21st-Century Edition.
“As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.” – James Allen
James Allen tells us to “keep your hand firmly upon the helm of thought.” As A Man Thinketh by James Allen is a good, short, practical, free booklet on how to manage your thoughts.
“We do not attract what we want.
We attract what we feel.“ – Ralph Smart
Thoughts lead to feelings lead to actions … then back & forth repeatedly in a feedback loop. If we strive to have clear thoughts with deep feelings this automatically leads to right actions.
AIDA – attention, interest, desire, action. This is the sequence advertisers use to get the results they want from buyers.
“This day … I view the world of effect as it truly is …
simply an outpicturing of my former beliefs.” – John R Price in The Abundance Book, p.28
Price asserts on p.20 that naturally pouring forth from our inner being is creative Mind energy whose “plastic quality allows it to be impressed by the tone and shape of your dominant beliefs.” That creative energy (expressed through thoughts, feelings, choices, words & actions) flows through our consciousness to eventually appear as the outward objects & conditions we perceive.
Another way to word the first idea:
This day I recognize the world of effect for what it truly is … simply the natural denouement of my previous thoughts, feelings, choices, words & actions. Each one, no matter how small, ends up on the balance scales of life.
“All we are is the result of what we have thought:
it is founded on our thoughts and made up of our thoughts.“ – Buddha
We all know how difficult it is to create a good new habit that actually sticks. Self motivation (it varies wildly) and will power (it quickly evaporates) just don’t seem to work. The sneaky inner self seems to resist.
This book Mini Habits by Stephen Guise provides a surprisingly practical approach. It can work even if you are part of the vast majority who cannot keep New Year’s resolutions. And that includes about 99.9% of us.
A mini habit is a stupidly small habit which you “decide” to practice every day. It is so small that miniscule willpower is required to make it happen. So little willpower and time are needed that the lazy, frightened subconscious part of your brain has no reason to bother resisting.
The result is that a mini habit can sneak in under the subconscious resistance that has been holding you back all your life. Eventually you will start developing the perseverance, momentum and enthusiasm which it takes for big permanent changes. Stop attempting to push your unconscious mind. Let mini habits work their repetitive magic on their own.
Also don’t bother making a mini habit bigger. Instead use your new-found emotional energy as a bonus to do more on those days, and only those days, “when you feel like it.” After a while your mini habit will automatically lead you to bigger habits so strong that will power and motivation are no longer even necessary. You’ll just do your new habit without emotion like you do other habits good or bad. And, if something goes wrong, you always have your mini habit to fall back on.
For much more information read Mini Habits. It’s short (126 pages) easy read with good explanations and research on the subject.
Here are examples of small mini habits and the good habit where they might lead
* 1 pushup/day – leads to a bigger more healthy exercise program
* Walk treadmill 60 sec/day – leads to more healthy exercise
* Read 2 pages/day – improve the contents of your mind
* Write 50 words/day – get that writing project moving
* More ideas for mini habits
Will power is very limited as most of us have noticed a few days after our annual New Years resolutions. Mini habits solve this problem by requiring so little will power and so little time that it becomes laughable to avoid doing them.
The problem with motivation is that it is undependable. That is why you use will power (a very small amount) instead to guarantee your mini habits are accomplished.
On those lucky days when you do feel motivated, and that will most likely happen soon after starting mini habits, use this motivation as bonus energy. For example, if your mini habit is to do 1 push up then use your motivation to do more.
Mini habits is an idea well worth testing for yourself. Pick some good habit that would make a big positive difference and reduce it down to a stupidly small but specific mini habit. Then religiously follow that mini habit every day for the rest of your life (or until it becomes clear that you can improve upon it).
When your motivation kicks in and you “feel” like doing more, then definitely do more. That’s what leads to bigger habits. And the improved motivation is a bonus you can eventually expect from mini habits along with better will power, momentum and results.
The book Mini Habits by Stephen Guise which gives detailed explanations and research on the subject.
The Mini Habits concept is a useful variation on The Slight Edge concept and I think both authors would heartily endorse each other. Mini Habits is more specific and less far ranging. Being easier to digest and specifically implement I think it is good way to get started.
Change Anything is a book focused on getting rid of bad habits (vs making good habits)
The Score Takes Care of Itself Lessons on Leadership and on Handling Failure by Bill Walsh
Bill Walsh’s obsession was leading a football team towards his admittedly impossible goal of perfect performance under pressure. His book, The Score Takes Care of Itself: My Philosophy of Leadership, is a firsthand description of Walsh’s philosophy of leadership and the details of how he led the 49ers from defeat to dynasty.
It is based on a series of interviews with Bill Walsh and reviewed by him. Also included are chapters about Walsh’s style as perceived by five men, including Joe Montana, with whom he worked closely in the pressure cooker of professional football.
As an aside, Walsh was also an amateur boxer and a student of military history, from which he derived parts of his philosophy. In the book he describes the pressures of football as being a civilian version of those experienced in combat: “Professional football, in my opinion, is the moral equivalent of war. The stress, wear and tear, and assault on a person’s spirit and basic self-esteem are incredible … it is such a cruel, volatile, and emotionally and physically dangerous activity.” p.1-2.
Though the book can get a bit repetitive and jumpy the content is excellent. I personally enjoyed Walsh’s directness, the many practical insights on “combat team” leadership, and the firsthand details of his life with the 49ers. Below are some direct quotes, often repetitive to emphasize his key points, to help give you an idea of what he had to say to leaders. The page numbers below refer to quotes from The Score Takes Care of Itself.
Two of Walsh’s primary strengths were
(1) teaching others how to be great, and
(2) preparing & practicing extremely detailed scripts for his team and himself.
His goal was to maximize the chances of perfect performance under pressure in any and all contingencies.
“‘Be Prepared,’ became my modus operandi.” … “I kept asking and answering this question: ‘What do I do if …?'” p.51
To quote Walsh: “I directed our focus less to the prize of victory than to the process of improving — obsessing, perhaps, about the quality of our execution and the content of our thinking; that is, our actions and attitude. I knew if I did that, winning would take care of itself, and when it didn’t I would seek ways to raise our Standard of Performance. p.21
Ancillary Strengths: His mastery of the game of football resulted from “a ferocious and intelligently applied work ethic directed at continual improvement.” p.16 Furthermore, Walsh’s problem-solving ability was spectacular. “(1) He could identify problems that needed to be solved; and (2) He could solve them.” p.68
The West Coast Offense is a beautiful example of how Walsh identified and solved a serious personnel problem (i.e., his Bengal’s quarterback, Virgil Carter, could not throw deep with accuracy p.41) and in the process changed the game of football. This novel solution was applied with his aforementioned passion for preparation. To quote Walsh: “Calculated risks are part of what you do, but … I preferred the position of being able to take lower-risk actions with higher reward potential. That sounds like a situation that rarely exists—low risk, high reward—but it’s exactly what my pass-oriented, ball-control system offered on the majority of our plays. In order to make it work, I applied great energy and expertise to a methodical process of anticipating, planning, and practicing for every conceivable situation.” p.211
It turns out that Walsh was intimately familiar with failure. His first two seasons with the 49ers, for example, had won-loss records of 2-14 and 6-10. p.19 During that period he said “It does take strength to shift your attention off the pain when you feel as though your soul has been stripped bare.” p.9 Also, he states that had he been able to avoid personalizing losses (at the end of his career) and giving himself no credit for wins he “would have continued to coach the 49ers and, I believe, won additional Super Bowl Championships.” p.224 Instead Walsh quit because “I wasn’t thinking straight.” p.224
Perhaps his angst is why he gives us so many lessons in this book on the subject of handling failure. To me these lessons were the most interesting portions of his book.
Always plan for contingencies. This includes planning for failure and how you will recover if a battle goes against you.
* “Victory is not always under your control.” p.1
“However, a resolute and resourceful leader understands that there are a multitude of means to increase the probability of success. And that’s what it all comes down to, namely, intelligently and relentlessly seeking solutions that will increase your chance of prevailing in a competitive environment. When you do that, the score will take care of itself.” p.1
For individuals who prevail “‘Crash and burn’ is part of it; so are recovery and reward. As you’re about to see I experienced more than my share of both.” p.1
– “Do expect defeat … if you’re surprised when it happens, you’re dreaming; dreamers don’t last long.” p.11
– “Force yourself to stop looking backward and dwelling on the … train wreck. … It’s mental quicksand.” p.12
– “When “you’ve been knocked senseless; give yourself a little time to recuperate. A keyword here is ‘little.’ Don’t let it drag on.” p.12
– “Do begin planning for your next serious encounter. The smallest step — plans— move you forward on the road to recovery. Focus on the fix.” p.12
“Failure is part of success, an integral part. Everybody gets knocked down. Knowing it will happen and what you must do when it does is the first step back.” p.10
Work “one minute at a time—literally—to regain composure, confidence and direction.” p.10
Focus on the process of preparing for excellence, not on the score. This is the overall theme of the book.
* “Take pride in my effort as an entity separate from the result of that effort.” p.16
* “We were immersed in building the inventory of skills, both attitudinal and physical, that would lead to improved execution. That was the key. (The losses hurt, and the wins felt good. But neither was the primary focus of my effort or attention. At least, in the beginning. Unfortunately, that changed for me down the line.) p.21
* “Concentrate on what will produce results rather than on the results, the process rather than the prize.” p.172
Walsh’s goal was consistency so that even after a loss he would not have to start all over again from the bottom.
* “There’s an ebb and flow, an up and down, in every significant endeavor at every level.” … but “my high standards for actions and attitudes within our organization never wavered—regardless of whether we were winning or losing.” p.27
“I envisioned it as enabling us to establish a near-permanent ‘base camp’ near the summit, consistently close to the top, within striking distance, never falling to the bottom of the mountain and having to start all over again.” p.27
“Consistent effort is a consistent challenge.” p.27.
Luck will always play a part in highly competitive contests. However, planning for all contingencies improves the odds.
* “The final score of a football game is decided, on average, according to the following percentages: 20 percent is due to luck … I accepted the fact that I couldn’t control that 20 percent of each game. However, the rest of it—80 percent—could be under my control with comprehensive planning and preparation.” p.56
“Control what you can control: Let the score take care of itself” p.56
“Planning for foul or fair weather … improves the odds of making a safe landing and is a key to success.” p.57
* “Be prepared. Good luck is a product of good planning.”
“No leader can control the outcome of the contest or competition, but you can control how you prepare for it.” p.85
* “Your ultimate assignment as a leader is getting those on your team totally ready for the battle. After that, you have to let winning take care of itself.” p.234
* “Rather than … try harder and harder … I trusted that it was going to happen because we had prepared thoroughly … The 49ers were able to play the bigger games very well because it was basically business as usual—no ‘try harder’ mentality was used. In fact, I believed it would be counterproductive.” p.30
Learn from mistakes. Don’t back off from the truth.
* “Seek reward in the ruins.” … “Often it takes a keen eye and a strong stomach to dig through the ‘ruins’ of your results meaningful facts.” … “When you fall short of the goal, the letdown can be so severe you’re blinded to substantive information indicating that success may be closer than you would imagine.” “You prevent yourself from searching for the truth hidden within the numbers. I could easily have done that myself, because the second season became absolute hell at times. ” p.62-63
* “Too often we avert our gaze when that past is unpleasant. … How good are you at looking through the evidence from the past—especially the recent past? There’s a certain knack to it, but basically it requires a keen eye for analysis, a commonsense mind for parsing evidence that offers clues to why things went as they did—both good and bad.” p.67
* “When you make a mistake, admit it and fix it. Don’t let pride, stubbornness, or possible embarrassment about your bad decision prevent you from correcting what you have done. Fix it, or the little problem becomes a big one.” p.215
How you win or lose is important and is something you can control.
* “Poise: Even in the worst circumstance, do not unravel mentally or emotionally; continue to fight and execute well, even if the cause appears to be lost; act like professionals.” p.158
* “Thus, if we won, I cared about how we won; if we lost, I cared about how we lost.” … “It wasn’t increasing or decreasing the point differential that was so intriguing to me, but rather increasing the quality of our execution and decision making—the quality of the football we played.” p.189
“In my early years as an assistant coach … simply teaching our personnel how to execute and perform at high levels provided satisfaction and gratification. Seeing areas of our game reflect that improvement allowed me to take pride in various elements of a loss. We hadn’t yet reached the point of being expected to win every game, every Super Bowl.” p.219
Don’t personalize your losses (like Walsh regretfully did at the end).
* “Losing … can become so psychologically crippling that winning offers little solace and no cause for celebration because you’ve imposed an internal accounting system on yourself that awards zero points for winning and minus points for losing. You can never get ahead on points. That’s exactly what happened to me.” p.218
“When this happens, any kind of loss becomes very disturbing because you’ve attached your self-image to the results of the competition. Winning can become insidious for the same reason, that is, you allow the victory to begin determining your self-worth, how you feel about yourself.
Either way, you are putting yourself on a slippery slope when you start believing that the outcome of your effort represents or embodies who you really are as a person—what your value as a person is. I speak from personal experience.” p.219
“Aggressively looking for the positive elements, however small, can dilute the toxic pressure of personalizing the results by allowing you to take pride in your strategies, tactics, effort, and execution even when they don’t produce victory every time.” p.223
“I was increasingly unable to do this. Consequently, during my tenth season with the 49ers, I knew I had to get out … Had I been able to avoid the dead-end calculation of ‘zero points for winning,” I would have continued to coach the 49ers and, I believe, won additional Super Bowl championships. That is something that has never stopped eating at me. But by the end I wasn’t thinking straight.” p.224
Walsh repeatedly recommended focusing on improvement rather than on winning. But, as he frankly stated, thinking too much about winning became a serious personal problem at the end of his career. I.e., “But much of it had to do with our ultimately unattainable expectations and my inability to deal with the prospect of failure. All of it put together became too much.” p.224
* Bud Grant who lost four Super Bowls as coach of the Minnesota Vikings had it right: “I’ve got a 24-hour rule. You only let it bother your for 24 hours and then it’s over.” p.226
These last quotes are from the final chapter written by Bill Walsh’s son, Craig Walsh.
” “While he learned from each loss and every win, my dad increasingly took something away from a defeat that he couldn’t shake.” p.235
” He was also frank about admitting his own mistakes. After a game, at the next meeting, he would review what had gone right and wrong with the whole team. While he didn’t pull any punches when reviewing their individual performances, he was also forthright when it came to his own work. He would tell them where he had made mistakes. … There was no culture of seeking scapegoats, no failure or finger pointing. It was very matter-of-fact. We did this wrong; here’s how we do it right. He would critique himself equally hard in winning and losing, always leaving room for improvement.” p.241
“It is in the framework of this dichotomy, extreme success as a leader in the NFL and extreme distress as a person, that makes Dad’s story so compelling, his lessons in leadership so valuable.” … The lessons he shares in The Score Takes Care of Itself are both a beacon for leadership and a cautionary tale—what to do and what not to do. But isn’t that the subject all effective leaders dwell on? Isn’t it the perpetual puzzle of leadership.” p.241-242
After reading The Score Takes Care of Itself you will certainly have a better idea of who Bill Walsh was as a man and why he was so successful. From the hard-earned lessons provided you will also appreciate the label which Walsh valued most—teacher.
Change Anything Research & Strategies for Changing “Bad” Habits
Change Anything is a book based on substantial scientific research on how to change even “long-standing bad habits.” Below are some notes (along with page numbers in the book) intended to be helpful reminders after you’ve read the book. They also provide a detailed overview process and sources of influence which can help change bad habit.
With long-standing habits “what you can’t see is usually what’s controlling you.” p.9 Moreover, there are usually many different “invisible” controllers at work … not just one. These are two big reasons habits are often surprisingly difficult to change.
Willpower is a good thing but in practice it is extremely limited and rarely up to doing the job all alone. Many if not most people think willpower is the only solution so they just keep on trying again and again. They end up on a treadmill with nowhere to go so when they fail then keep returning again to willpower until hope eventually disappears. p.5-6 An example is New Years resolution treadmill.
Change Anything discusses many scientifically-proven strategies and sources of influence which can help us to consciously overpower the many hidden controllers behind our bad habits. When these positive sources of influence are used in combination they are much more powerful than willpower alone.
If we can begin to
* understand the “science of personal success” process and then
* consciously align the six scientifically proven sources of influence in the right direction
Because each individual is unique and has different perceptions of reality it turns out there are no cut-and-dried solutions to personal change. Instead it takes a stumbling process of learning by trial and error to create customized home-grown plans
“You need to study you.” p.27 Successful changers “studied themselves like they were specimens under a microscope until they had a plan perfectly suited for … themselves.” p.29
Below are scientific strategies successful changers used in this process.
(1) Identify Crucial Moments
Typically you are at risk during only a handful of moments, not 24 hours/day. Even powerful urges “usually subside over 15-20 minutes.” p.78 Therefore distract-and-delay tactics can work because “delay lessens the craving.” p.78
So start scanning for crucial moments. Look for specific conditions that create the greatest temptation, e.g., the times, places, people, and the physical & emotional states where you are most vulnerable. “Only you can systematically search for the conditions of greatest importance to your change.” p.32
(2) Develop Emergency Responses
Get prepared in advance so that you are not surprised when a crucial moment occurs. Do this by figuring out specific rules that outline exactly what to do when you are tempted. They need to be specific actions, not vague guidelines, to avoid the confusion that can often occur when you are under pressure.
“Crucial moments tell you when you’re at risk. Vital behaviors tell you what to do.” p.33 By knowing ahead of time exactly how you are going to respond “You won’t decide upon it each time; you’ll merely implement it.” p.41
(3) Engage All Six Sources of Influence
Don’t rely on just one or two positive sources of influence to make positive change happen. Certainly don’t rely on just willpower alone.
The six sources discussed later have been proved to effectively change people. However they must all be used together in concert to successfully overpower long-standing habits.
(4) Turn Bad Days Into Good Data
“No matter how brilliant your initial change plan is, if you’re dealing with long-standing habits, your plan won’t work.” p.39 Expect backsliding and temporary failures. Since bad days will definitely happen be prepared to make failure an ally by learning from it.
“Step back and examine the data, learn from what just happened, and then adjust the plan.” p.40 That is how to eventually come up with your own steadily improving, custom, home-made change plan. By becoming a curious scientist you can eventually win!
(5) Write Down Your Plan & Take Notes
“Repeated studies show that simply writing down a plan increases your chances of success by more than 30 percent.” p.43 Your first written plan should be very simple, even stupidly simple. It’s purpose is to get you started. Only after you start will you gain the experience needed to come up with a better plan and then another.
Many scientists take careful notes in laboratory notebook and then review, study and further organize these notes over time to help them understand their research. So should you! Studying your life habits is the most important research you will ever do.
“Learn what’s working and what isn’t, and make adjustments.” p.43 “If you keep a record of your evolving plan, you’ll make new mistakes rather than repeating the old ones. The goal here is not perfection, but progress.” p.43 A true master is not the one who has reached some arbitrary summit but one who keeps moving upward on the path of progress.
(6) Start Small and Start Now p.236
Get started by looking for the most obvious ways to build your personal, social and structural motivations and skills.
Don’t wait until you understand everything about the science of personal success. Just start with what is simple, easy and obvious to you and go from there. For example, “there is absolutely nothing wrong with starting your attempt to move forward by simply adding an idea or two from the book to whatever you’ve been doing before.” p.236 “View the Change Anything model as a way of improving your plan incrementally over time.” p.237.
“Just get started. Learn from both your successes and your failures, and then adjust. Eventually you’ll discover the right combination of tactics needed to help you change for good.” p.237
These tactics change your personal motivations, i.e., “how you feel about both negative and positive choices …” p.63 They change how you think about the present and future and are only a thought away. p.64
(1) Visit your default future p.51
Really look at where you will end up if you don’t change directions. Most people, probably including you, skip over and ignore unpleasant truths. Instead use them to motivate yourself. Finding real-life examples of worst-case scenarios helps make the truth of where you are heading real.
(2) Tell the whole vivid story p.54
Make your story complete and vivid. Don’t slide by “rather than fill in the ugly details.” p.54 Tell yourself “the whole truth, the vivid truth, and nothing but the truth.” p.56
(3) Use value words p.56
Research shows that value labels definitely influence behavior. Therefore make an effort to create vivid value words that describe your positive and negative actions. Then use them vigorously. Be your own coach. Be your own cheerleader.
(4) Make it a game p.58
Gamify it by breaking big goals into smaller chunks with time limits. Then figure out meaningful, entertaining, visual ways to keep score. This will help transform “something far-off and fuzzy into something short-term and in control.” p.60 Also look for ways to gamify those boring chores.
(5) Create a personalized motivation statement p.61
Come up with a brief, simple statement loaded with vivid value words that is really meaningful to you. Find a concise way to envision for yourself what will happen if you do or don’t change. p.63 Then repeat your motivation statement often to yourself, especially when tempted.
These are good tactics for increasing personal motivation. However, don’t expect personal motivation to work on its own. It must be combined with the five sources below in order to generate enough power to overcome long-standing routines.
We often are missing the skills needed to succeed and don’t even realize it. Most personal problems are “partially rooted in our inability to do what’s required, and rarely do we think about this because our lack of skill or knowledge sits in our blind spot.” p.68 Below are some tactics for improving your own personal skill set.
(1) Start with a skill scan p.69
“Find out what you know and don’t know as well as what you can and can’t do. This can be surprisingly difficult to uncover at first.” p.70
(2) Employ deliberate practice p.70
“Everyone needs practice. You’re no exception.” p.73 Deliberate practice involves (a) breaking challenges into small doable parts, (b) practicing these parts in short intervals, (c) getting immediate feedback on your results as compared to clear standards, (d) from a good coach. Use challenges “as opportunities to develop greater skill in the future.” p.75
(3) Improve will power p.76
You can also use deliberate practice to increase your will power. One good tactic to practice, for example, is “distract & delay.” Identify specifically what tempts you and “exactly how will you distract yourself.” p.80 Start small and easy to that you can develop the strength needed to resist increasingly larger temptations.
Most of us are blind “about the role others currently play in the habit” we’re trying to change. “The goal is not for you to simply stand against the overwhelming sway of peer pressure—but to make it work for you.” p.83
Research clearly shows that we are all dramatically and unconsciously affected by pressure from peers or from individuals in a position of authority. Therefore it greatly behooves us to start becoming aware of the many subtle social influences around us and to develop our skills to redirect them.
Here are some social skills science has determined will help you change.
(1) Identify who are your accomplices and who are your friends. p.84
Accomplices aid and abet the “crime.” Don’t let accomplices influence you without you being aware of it.
(2) Redefine your vision of what’s normal p.93
Humans always move towards the “normal.” Who are the people and what are the practices you consider to be normal. Are they where you want to be? If not then you must redefine your vision of what’s normal. Start by finding some good models and then getting closer to them.
(3) Hold a transformation conversation p.94
Clarify to your “accomplices” what would make them “friends” of your good changes. Many will be happy to oblige if you communicate how serious you are about changing.
(4) Add new friends p.95
“The easiest way to exploit the power of social influence is to add new friends.” Just hanging out with good new friends can “help you see a new normal.” p.95
(5) Distance yourself from the unwilling p.96
Though difficult this is sometimes necessary. If your change is important enough to you then you must learn to distance yourself from those who are not its “friends.” Start by spending less time around them.
“We can actually bribe and threaten ourselves to change.” p.102 Start looking for structural motivations such as incentives and be aware how insidious some of them can be.
(1) Use carrots and sticks p.103
Don’t forget to take advantage of the natural human aversion to loss of “carrots.”
(2) Use incentives in moderation and in combination p.107
“It typically takes only small rewards to work their magic.” p.108
(3) Reward small wins p.109
We know that “large, long-term goals become far more effective when they’re broken into smaller, short-term ones.” p.109 “Never make the mistake of attaching rewards to achieving your ultimate goal.” p.110 Also be aware that it’s best to “reward yourself frequently and in small increments, also take care to reward the right thing.” p.110
(4) Reward your actions, not your results p.110
“Results are often out of your control (at least in the moment), so link your incentives to something you can control—your vital behaviors.” p.110
“Reward what you do, not what you achieve.” p.110 Rather than waiting to reward the ultimate goal reward the small vital behavior that will eventually lead there. p.111 At the least, celebrate small steps!
Learn to control your environment. Things around us “quietly affect all our choices.” p.115. For example, research “show that people eat 92 percent of whatever is on their plate—regardless of how big it is.” p.114
(1) Build fences p.117
Add clear fences that keep you away from temptations you should avoid. Fences are simply intractable rules or boundaries you decide to follow in your life. For example, don’t even go near to your favorite bar if drinking is a weakness.
(2) Manage distance, delay & distraction p.119
“Humans are far more governed by distance than anyone would guess.” p.121 “Keep good things close and convenient and bad things distant and difficult.” p.120 Make it more convenient to do the things you should do and more difficult to do the things you shouldn’t. Just a little bit can make a big difference.
(3) Change the cues (reminders) in your environment p.121
Anything that “might grab your attention can affect your opinions, emotions, and choices.” Even “subtle visual cues appear to have an impact.” p.122 The best cues “kick you off autopilot and remind you of the commitments you’ve made and the results you want to achieve. They also suggest an immediate next step.” p.122-123
(4) Engage your “default” autopilot p.125
“We would rather not mess with things once they’re arranged.” p.125 Use this human tendency to your advantage by setting up positive defaults such as “standing appointments, automatic withdrawals, long-term subscriptions—and any other mechanism that takes advantage of your desire to avoid thinking.” p.126
(5) Use tools that make good habits easier p.127
Use your computer, smart phone program, or any other such tools that might help. Also, don’t forget pencil and paper. “Write it down. Next write down when you will try it.” p.130 “The simple act of writing will substantially increase the likelihood you’ll take action.” p.130
The book concludes with several detailed examples of how people have made challenging changes by applying the science of personal success. Reading these examples is another way to get ideas for tactics which might work for you!
* Career: How to get unstuck at work. p.135
* Weight Loss: How to Lose Weight and Get Fit, and Stay That Way. p.151.
* Financial Fitness: How to Get, and Live, Out of Debt. p.173
* Addiction: How to Take Back Your Life. p.192
* Relationships: How to Change Us by Changing Me. p.213
The Change Anything book provides a “careful way of thinking about the science of personal change … about crucial moments, vital behaviors, six powerful sources of influence, and the need to learn and adjust.” p.236
Its ideas and tactics are good start. But you will have to experiment to find out which specific ones work best for you. Usually you will need to create your own variation of a tactic to make it a better fit better to your own particular situation. Only home-made solutions, created by trial and error, will work. In real life successful changers tenaciously stumble their way to success p.xiii and you can stumble there too.
These ideas are proven by science. This approach has had much success with even such difficult changes as overcoming addictions. Seriously consider becoming the “Scientist and the Subject” … in order to eventually solve the most important and stubborn issues in your own unique life.
The Secret Path describes a practical way for everyday working people to unlock the powers of the Overself. The Overself, as described by Paul Brunton (PB), is “the God within us” of whom we can become aware during meditation and in life.
Paul Brunton (PB) is the person who introduced the Western world to the Indian guru Ramana Maharshi. Much of what PB has to say in The Secret Path can ultimately be traced back to Ramana’s teachings on self enquiry.
PB spent most of his life on a spiritual quest looking for answers to the important questions of life. He extensively traveled, living on every continent with a focus on India and Egypt, and was the author of 28 books. Before he took his second journey to the East PB had a vision of his own guru, Ramana, which caused PB to delay his journey in order to write The Secret Path in only four short weeks in 1934.
The book starts with some interesting discussions about PB’s background and about the important questions of spiritual life. It does not promise to give you a simple answer to these questions (such answers cannot be expressed in words … they can only be known by direct experience) but it does promise to provide an efficient path towards those answers so that you can find them yourself.
PB claims to have found enlightenment so, if his claim is true, this secret path is well worth studying. I personally found the directions to be much clearer, more complete and simpler than most others. And, they are generally consistent with ideas from great seers such as Jesus, Buddha and Emerson which adds to their veracity in my opinion.
PB speaks from a Western point of view and claims that there is one ultimate source or Overself. He claims that seers such as Jesus and Buddha are all talking about the same thing, that is, becoming one with the Overself. The differences have to do with their different cultures and the different approaches they are taking to the same destination.
Basically he says the personal self (personality) is provided the life energy which holds it together and is provided its very existence by the Overself quietly residing behind it. However, the personal self has become so entranced by this world’s external sensations that it has lost awareness of its true source. The Secret Path is a practical way to help the personal self see the spiritual, versus the material, realities of life.
THE PRACTICE OF MENTAL QUIET p.45
Quieting the mind is fundamental to PB’s recommendations. The personal self is so entranced by its external senses and thoughts that it cannot see the more subtle truths that lie behind them.
Mental quiet is another name for what is usually called meditation. The practice of meditation helps one to develop the abilities to quiet the mind and to concentrate attention.
PB recommends that the fundamental thing to concentrate on during meditation is “who am I.” This is not a question asking “about” who I am but is a mental intention “to become aware” of who I am. Initially in one’s practice of meditation this involves concentration. Later, as one develops one’s ability to easily quiet the mind, meditation becomes more of an intention to receive awareness of who I am.
A TECHNIQUE OF SELF-ANALYSIS p.56
PB recommends starting down the path by first applying the logical and analytical powers of our personal minds to help unravel the fundamental questions “Who am I” and “Who is this being that dwells within this body?” p.75
He provides extensive discussion to help convince one’s self that I am not my body, emotions or thoughts. Rather I am the watcher behind them who uses these worldly tools. I.e., who I really am is the watcher and a chooser behind the personal self. I am the life force that holds the body together and chooses for it to exist.
Once one has convinced one’s self that the real “I” is the watcher rather than, for example, his body or his thoughts then this stage is over.
BREATHING EXERCISE TO CONTROL THOUGHTS p.69
PB says slowing one’s breathing one also slows down the racing thoughts that keep flowing through one’s intellect. He recommends a safe, simple breathing exercise to do this (versus some of the other breathing methods practiced by Yogis which in his opinion have dangers).
THE TECHNIQUE OF SELF OBSERVATION p.80
This technique involves stopping almost unexpectedly at odd times of the day and observing what you are saying, doing, thinking and feeling. Do this from a detached, impersonal point of view asking questions along the lines of “who is doing this” or “who is thinking these thoughts?”
This will tend to separate the thoughts and desires from the sense of selfhood which normally seem inherent within them.
REVIEW SOFAR
“Indeed, it might be said that the three practices, self observation, daily quiet and placid breathing, are complementary. All aim at overcoming the tendencies towards complete self-identification with the body, the desires and the intellect which are today regarded as normal and natural.” p.80
Once we develop these habits we begin to see “our changing emotions, desires, thoughts and action to us in the light of the Overself, i.e. as things which are being experienced within ourselves but are merely mechanical responses to external stimuli.” p.81
THE AWAKENING TO INTUITION p.75
After going through the above practices one continues his meditation. In so doing “He does not endeavor to obtain an answer by thinking about the Thinker; he begins to let all thoughts drop away and to fasten his full attention upon becoming aware of this being who has been covered over by the screen of never-ending thoughts.” p.77
“Fixing your attention upon the question, “Who am I,” and attempting to pursue its solution with all the ardour you can command, a time will come one day, during your half-hour practice of mental quiet, when you shall be so deeply engrossed in this effort as to be largely unmindful of what is around you. This condition of intense reverie provides you with the appropriate state wherein the great event of self-revelation can take place.” p.83
What is important is not to overstrain. “It is the subconscious reaction to your conscious effort which is now all-important.” p.78 One must watch patiently and carefully for small signs and glimpses of the Overself.
We cannot force the Infinite. We can only receive what the Infinite gives by Grace. One can only patiently humbly wait for the Overself to illumine itself via the thread of intuition. Exactly how the Overself enlightens an individual differs depending on the individual. But, if the Overself allows, “A mysterious condition gradually arises wherein one becomes strangely aware of this ‘otherness.’ It is as if one part of your nature watches what the other part does.” p.85 “Within its strange clasp we become conscious of an intense awareness of infinitude” which cannot be described by words. p.89
THE AWAKENING TO THE OVERSELF p.91
“Whoever has patiently practised the exercises in meditation prescribed in this book and has thereby won through to the inner contact with his diviner self, will no longer need to repeat these exercises in the identical manner which he has heretofore followed.” p.91
“He need only practise the breathing exercise which has been given and then place his mind in the half-question, half-prayer condition which is described in the preceding chapter. After the necessary pause, the waiting period of humble expectancy, the response of the Overself will usually be forthcoming and he will temporarily enter the state of partial or complete inner illumination.” … “The stream of mental quiet has at last carried him beyond the intellect.” p.91
Be warned that this result is not achieved “merely by practising certain exercises.” It is a much more subtle subject than that. Ultimately “Grace is the essential pre-requisite for enlightenment. Yet you cannot supply it; only your Overself or a true Adept can do that.” p.92
“To obtain this Grace we must ask for it.” p.93 “For most of us we must ask with our whole life.” And Grace ultimately decides if and when when it will provide enlightenment. So, be patient. Be humble.
Ultimately enlightenment cannot be expressed by words. You can only know it from the authority of one’s personal experience, one’s own first-hand realization that these things are true.” p.97
CONCLUSION
This book appears to offer a far more reasonable path to enlightenment than most of the others I have seen. It does not attempt to explain the unexplainable but points the way to “enlightenment,” a state which apparently PB has personally and regularly experienced.
I also like that it appears to be saying, in a somewhat different and more comprehensible way, what other spiritual systems indicate. PB’s muse, Maharshi, did not make any claims or efforts for worldly success. This I like too.
The book concludes by saying that “the Secret Path of mental quiet will prove to be of use in every kind of situation” p.119 It can be applied to a normal everyday Western life; one does not have to become a monk or yogi to follow this path to enlightenment.
These are attractive promises for an approach which appears quite practical. Hopefully the above summary provides an overview that you find helpful as you read the book itself.